1 00:00:07,821 --> 00:00:11,421 [Frank] Now, nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the garden of Eden, 2 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,500 but it's been a good home to us. 3 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:18,101 To me, Frank Gallagher, and me kids, who I'm proud of, 4 00:00:18,181 --> 00:00:22,061 'cause every single one of them reminds me a little of me. 5 00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:24,381 -[all gasp] -They can all think for themselves, 6 00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:26,021 which they've me to thank for. 7 00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:27,741 -[Carl] Run! Run for it! -[Lip] Quick! Leg it! 8 00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:30,620 [Frank] Fiona, who's a massive help. 9 00:00:30,701 --> 00:00:34,900 Lip, who's a bit of a gob shite, which is why nobody calls him Philip anymore. 10 00:00:35,381 --> 00:00:38,461 Ian, a lot like his mam, which is handy for the others, 11 00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,381 'cause she's disappeared into thin air. 12 00:00:40,461 --> 00:00:42,860 And Carl, we daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons. 13 00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:45,981 One, it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah, 14 00:00:46,061 --> 00:00:47,220 -two, nits love him. -[screams] 15 00:00:47,301 --> 00:00:50,741 Debbie! Sent by God. Total angel. 16 00:00:50,821 --> 00:00:54,300 You've to check your change, but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favour. 17 00:00:54,381 --> 00:00:55,461 Plus, Liam! 18 00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:59,540 Gonna be a star, once we've got the fits under control. 19 00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:00,501 [screams] 20 00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:03,821 Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier. 21 00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:06,301 One plate short of a full set, like. 22 00:01:06,381 --> 00:01:08,861 Fantastic neighbours, Kev and Veronica. 23 00:01:08,941 --> 00:01:11,181 Lend you anything. Well, not anything. 24 00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:15,060 But all of them, to a man, know first and foremost, 25 00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:18,101 one of the most vital necessities in this life, 26 00:01:18,181 --> 00:01:21,381 is they know how to throw a party! 27 00:01:21,461 --> 00:01:23,541 [laughs] Scatter! 28 00:01:23,621 --> 00:01:25,500 -[music playing] -[Ian] When you're a Gallagher 29 00:01:25,581 --> 00:01:27,981 it can feel like more shit happens than the average. 30 00:01:29,341 --> 00:01:32,101 But if you think about it, shit happening is fact of life. 31 00:01:32,661 --> 00:01:35,181 There's nothing special about being part of our family. 32 00:01:35,821 --> 00:01:38,140 What really is special about being a Gallagher? 33 00:01:39,541 --> 00:01:40,941 You'd have to ask Fiona. 34 00:01:41,621 --> 00:01:44,220 A bit of pride, maybe, and something to do with how you cope 35 00:01:44,301 --> 00:01:45,621 when it all hits the fan. 36 00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,220 Especially if you're standing right in front of it at the time. 37 00:01:48,301 --> 00:01:49,140 [indistinct yelling] 38 00:01:49,220 --> 00:01:52,021 The thing I really rated about Fiona was the way she didn't even bother to duck. 39 00:01:52,101 --> 00:01:54,140 Ey, now, I wouldn't kick him out of bed for a wet fart. 40 00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,621 Nah. He's not my type. 41 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,941 Bollocks! He's everyone's type, him! He's a fucking classic! 42 00:01:59,021 --> 00:02:00,741 I think I'm all right, thanks. 43 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,060 -[Ryan] Fancy a drink, then? -I'd love one. 44 00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:05,741 -[women laughing] -[music playing] 45 00:02:06,661 --> 00:02:09,181 -Yes, mate? -Two Manila coladas, please. 46 00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:11,260 Right. Oh, we've run out of Manila, 47 00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,061 I can do em' with rum. 48 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,901 You're all right, mate. I'll have them without. 49 00:02:17,061 --> 00:02:18,781 Two Manila coladas without the Manila? 50 00:02:18,861 --> 00:02:20,260 -Yeah. -[Jez] Fucking ladies' night 51 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,221 this is and not a chick in the room. 52 00:02:22,781 --> 00:02:24,741 -[Fiona] Hmm. -Uh, name? 53 00:02:25,181 --> 00:02:26,021 Ryan. 54 00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:28,861 -He's a footballer. -[indistinct chatter] 55 00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,621 -Fuck off! -[laughs] 56 00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:33,621 Fucking hell! He's not Ryan Giggs, is he? 57 00:02:33,701 --> 00:02:35,941 Veronica, you have seen him. 58 00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:37,661 -[toilet flushes] -Oh, yeah. 59 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:41,781 -[laughs] -Only Sunday League. Mm. 60 00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:45,781 -Still, fit as arseholes. -[woman] Got a spare tampon? 61 00:02:46,181 --> 00:02:48,141 Oh. Hang on. 62 00:02:48,221 --> 00:02:49,380 [door opens] 63 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,421 -Ha ha! -[indistinct chatter] 64 00:02:51,501 --> 00:02:52,461 [woman 2] I feel sick. 65 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:56,061 [woman 1] Come on then, let's go, while they're still serving. 66 00:02:57,141 --> 00:02:58,100 [door closes] 67 00:03:06,301 --> 00:03:07,301 [snoring] 68 00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:10,901 [pants] 69 00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:12,181 [phone rings] 70 00:03:13,501 --> 00:03:15,741 -[continues ringing] -[sighs] Hello. 71 00:03:18,021 --> 00:03:19,461 How the fuck did that happen? 72 00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:25,021 The fuck did Fiona end up with Joey Dawson? 73 00:03:25,941 --> 00:03:27,061 Joey Dawson? 74 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:28,901 Joey. 75 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,781 Oh... Joey. 76 00:03:36,061 --> 00:03:38,100 -Oh, fuck! -What was he like, then? 77 00:03:38,181 --> 00:03:40,501 [both moaning] 78 00:03:40,581 --> 00:03:43,140 [moans, roars] 79 00:03:43,221 --> 00:03:45,820 -Oh, fuck! -Didn't think he would be. 80 00:03:45,901 --> 00:03:48,100 Veronica, I don't think we used anything. 81 00:03:48,181 --> 00:03:51,181 -I thought you were on the pill? -When l was with Steve, yeah. 82 00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:53,061 Half a packet now, half a packet later. 83 00:03:53,861 --> 00:03:55,621 Works the same as the morning-after pill. 84 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:59,380 [indistinct chatter] 85 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,260 -[Joey] Oh. -[Liam laughs] Wake up! 86 00:04:03,341 --> 00:04:04,781 -[Fiona] Liam! -[Joey grunts] 87 00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,061 -[Liam chuckling] -Morning. 88 00:04:07,941 --> 00:04:08,781 [slurping] 89 00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:10,540 [man on TV] It's your chance to phone in this morning 90 00:04:10,621 --> 00:04:14,021 and the topic is sexually transmitted diseases. 91 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,221 So, we've got... 92 00:04:16,261 --> 00:04:19,420 -[Ian] With Joey Dawson? -[Lip chuckles] 93 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,060 Don't bother. I can guarantee it won't be funny. 94 00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:25,381 [indistinct chatter on TV] 95 00:04:25,581 --> 00:04:28,221 -You went to bed with our Fiona? -Get me... 96 00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:31,381 Fuck. 97 00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:34,060 You went to bed with him? 98 00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:37,301 It happens, Carl. Do you want some toast? 99 00:04:38,021 --> 00:04:39,701 Two slices, my darling. 100 00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:42,861 -What's happened? -Fiona had sexual intercourse 101 00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:44,781 -with Joey Dawson. -Debbie! 102 00:04:44,861 --> 00:04:47,821 [Debbie] That's what Mrs Henderson calls it in Health and Society. 103 00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:51,541 She says it's immature to use the other words. 104 00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:53,180 Looks like he shagged you ragged. 105 00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:55,141 Can we all just change the fucking record. 106 00:04:55,221 --> 00:04:57,581 -[thud] -[Joey screams] 107 00:04:58,101 --> 00:05:00,261 Shit. Marty! 108 00:05:02,781 --> 00:05:05,180 He trapped me arm in the fuckin' door! 109 00:05:06,060 --> 00:05:08,421 Cold compress. That's what Veronica always says. 110 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,701 Go and get a flannel. 111 00:05:09,781 --> 00:05:11,701 I don't know what you think you're playing at, Marty. 112 00:05:16,261 --> 00:05:17,221 Liam! 113 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,141 [Ian] Hurry up! 114 00:05:20,861 --> 00:05:22,500 -[Joey grunts] -[pants] 115 00:05:22,581 --> 00:05:24,981 -[Joey groans] -[car engine starts] 116 00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,781 -[Ian] Go, go! -What? 117 00:05:26,861 --> 00:05:30,421 -The gears. I can't-- -Hurry up! God's sake! 118 00:05:37,581 --> 00:05:40,661 -Blood group? -AB, AB, 119 00:05:41,101 --> 00:05:45,500 A, AB positive, O, B positive. 120 00:05:45,581 --> 00:05:48,341 -I don't know yours. -[doctor] There we go, Liam. 121 00:05:48,421 --> 00:05:49,821 A few minutes. Then you can go home 122 00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:51,821 -with Mummy and Daddy. Yeah? -Oh, no. We're not-- 123 00:05:51,901 --> 00:05:53,901 [doctor] No more taking Mummy's tablets. 124 00:05:54,541 --> 00:05:56,261 Like I say, we got everything out of him in time 125 00:05:56,341 --> 00:05:58,461 and hormones aren't immediately dangerous. 126 00:05:58,541 --> 00:05:59,821 Worst case scenario... 127 00:06:00,341 --> 00:06:01,981 probably be him growing a pair of tits. 128 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:05,060 [chuckles, winces] 129 00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:06,701 God's sake! 130 00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:09,060 If you're that worried about it, why don't you get an X-ray? 131 00:06:10,141 --> 00:06:11,261 [Debbie] Go on, ask me. 132 00:06:11,341 --> 00:06:14,661 I remember every single Christmas prezzie for the last eight years. 133 00:06:15,461 --> 00:06:18,380 -I'm really sorry, Joey. -1998. 134 00:06:18,581 --> 00:06:22,661 Christmas 1998. He-Man mega-fighter, 135 00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:25,421 Kylie CDs, selection box from Dad. 136 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,781 Skateboard, Louise CD, selection box from Dad. 137 00:06:30,221 --> 00:06:34,021 Tinky Winky, Babe video, selection box from Dad. 138 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:38,500 -Right. I'll see you then. -[bus door opens] 139 00:06:38,581 --> 00:06:40,301 I didn't know you lived round here. 140 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,541 Extension on Lyle Close. Finishing off, like. 141 00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:44,820 [Debbie] Told you, 142 00:06:45,221 --> 00:06:48,060 I can do every Christmas present since 1995. 143 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,341 Yeah, but you got the blood groups wrong, freak. 144 00:06:50,421 --> 00:06:52,581 -[Debbie] No, I didn't. -How much? 145 00:06:58,421 --> 00:06:59,461 [sighs] 146 00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:01,781 At least it's not his plastering arm. 147 00:07:03,541 --> 00:07:05,781 -[Ian chuckles] -AB, A, 148 00:07:06,341 --> 00:07:08,620 -AB, B, O. -[Ian chuckles] 149 00:07:08,701 --> 00:07:09,661 [music playing on TV] 150 00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:11,461 I prefer the new notes from the cash machine. 151 00:07:13,301 --> 00:07:15,301 Debbie, look. Somebody's cocked up. 152 00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:17,341 You'll do this in biology. 153 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,380 You need two Os. 154 00:07:21,461 --> 00:07:23,740 One from each parent to be just O. 155 00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:26,541 O's recessive, which means 156 00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:28,500 somebody's got Ian's blood group wrong, 157 00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:29,940 which means you're wrong, 158 00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:31,901 which means I'm not liable for ten quid. 159 00:07:31,981 --> 00:07:35,060 -Doesn't have to mean that. -Yes, it does. 160 00:07:35,141 --> 00:07:37,901 It could mean that Dad's not Ian's dad. Duh! 161 00:07:37,981 --> 00:07:39,221 [Ian chuckles] 162 00:07:40,421 --> 00:07:41,260 What? 163 00:07:42,221 --> 00:07:43,581 [knocking on door] 164 00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,021 Can someone get that? 165 00:07:46,101 --> 00:07:49,301 Uh-uh. Oh, Liam, love, give it to me. 166 00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:51,021 Have you got any aspirin at yours? 167 00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:53,060 I've still got a head like a fucking drill. 168 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,260 -This not a good time? -She wants to talk to Mum. 169 00:07:57,141 --> 00:07:58,541 I'm from the health visiting team. 170 00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:00,820 The hospital contacted us about Liam's overdose. 171 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:04,180 Don't do that, Liam. It wasn't really an overdose. 172 00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:07,141 Oh, I know. Their word, not mine. It's just a follow-up. 173 00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:09,101 Your mum not in, then? Or your dad. 174 00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:10,541 We try not to be sexist. 175 00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:12,820 Uh, no, no. Not at the minute, no. 176 00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:15,661 But I am Liam's sister, so l can answer any questions. 177 00:08:16,341 --> 00:08:17,581 Gallagher. [chuckles] 178 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:19,421 Thought it might be. 179 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:21,820 You don't remember me, do you? 180 00:08:23,341 --> 00:08:24,901 Katrina Webb, from school? 181 00:08:26,861 --> 00:08:27,700 Katrina. 182 00:08:27,981 --> 00:08:29,620 [chuckles] It's all right, you can say it. 183 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:33,021 -The sperm whale. -You have lost a fucking tonne! 184 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,621 Quick Slim. A filling shake for breakfast, 185 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:38,021 a tasty soup for lunch, and then a sensible tea. 186 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,060 For three-and-a-half years. 187 00:08:41,261 --> 00:08:42,301 Fiona Gallagher. 188 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:45,261 Bet you never thought the sperm whale would be a health professional, eh? 189 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,421 Okay if I have a look at your brother? 190 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:53,181 Just my fucking luck, them sending her. 191 00:08:53,261 --> 00:08:55,460 She's all right, isn't she, Sperm Whale? 192 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,861 -Veronica, I gave her that name. -Nice one. 193 00:09:02,941 --> 00:09:04,741 She hated my guts at school, 194 00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:07,581 'cause I snogged a boy she fancied. Ricky Parr. 195 00:09:08,261 --> 00:09:11,741 I tell you, little bit of power, she'll be loving this. 196 00:09:11,941 --> 00:09:12,980 Right as rain. 197 00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:15,941 To be honest, I'm surprised you're still living at home, Fiona. 198 00:09:16,460 --> 00:09:17,781 Thought you would've been married by now. 199 00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:19,901 Yeah, well, you and me both. [chuckles] 200 00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:21,941 -Oh, what about you? -[giggles] 201 00:09:22,021 --> 00:09:24,421 [Fiona] Engaged. Lovely. 202 00:09:24,501 --> 00:09:26,340 Yeah. I've got a venue booked for August. 203 00:09:26,421 --> 00:09:29,621 We're having a Lord of The Rings theme, except it'll be wedding rings, obviously. 204 00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:31,501 Hobbits for pageboys, dead cute. 205 00:09:31,581 --> 00:09:34,501 Oh! Hang about. I'm remembering now. 206 00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:38,181 I did a visit when Chantelle Harrison had her third, 207 00:09:38,741 --> 00:09:40,901 and she said to me that your mum had turned into a lesbian 208 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:42,220 and run off with another woman. 209 00:09:44,181 --> 00:09:45,141 Chantelle? 210 00:09:45,941 --> 00:09:47,460 Must have been the smack talking. 211 00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:52,261 -You take care, Liam, yeah? -Yeah. 212 00:09:52,821 --> 00:09:55,421 -Carl kicked me. -Did he? 213 00:09:56,301 --> 00:09:57,581 It was an accident. [chuckles] 214 00:09:58,501 --> 00:10:00,821 -Nightmare. Kids, eh? [chuckles] -Yeah. 215 00:10:01,621 --> 00:10:03,541 Well, it was good to see you, Katrina. 216 00:10:03,621 --> 00:10:05,021 Good luck with the wedding and everything. 217 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,141 Who's the lucky fella? What's his name? 218 00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:08,860 Joey. Joey Dawson. 219 00:10:09,381 --> 00:10:13,021 Mrs Dawson. [gasps] Fucking weird, eh? See ya! 220 00:10:15,261 --> 00:10:16,340 I'm not kidding. 221 00:10:16,421 --> 00:10:18,621 She finds out I slept with Joey, l am dead! 222 00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:20,301 [Kev] Promise me these are staying on. 223 00:10:20,381 --> 00:10:22,821 -[Veronica] What are you like? -No tits, do you promise me? 224 00:10:22,901 --> 00:10:24,701 Cross me heart and hope to die. 225 00:10:24,781 --> 00:10:28,301 -[doorbell rings] -[Veronica whistles] 226 00:10:28,381 --> 00:10:31,860 Whoa! Cross me knockers. Get 40 quid extra for topless. 227 00:10:32,541 --> 00:10:33,860 Can you think of a rhyme with estate agent? 228 00:10:33,941 --> 00:10:35,781 -What? -Birthday boy. 229 00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:37,301 He's an estate agent. Shaun. 230 00:10:39,701 --> 00:10:42,661 You're mental, you! How's she gonna find out? 231 00:10:42,741 --> 00:10:44,421 Joey's not gonna tell her, you're not gonna tell her. 232 00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:48,021 It's like it never fucking happened. 233 00:10:49,581 --> 00:10:51,541 -It's Joey and his girlfriend. -Shit! 234 00:10:52,061 --> 00:10:53,541 He's come for the van keys. 235 00:10:54,581 --> 00:10:57,181 You know, that he left here last night when he crashed out 236 00:10:57,261 --> 00:10:59,701 'cause he'd had a few too many before he slipped in the shower 237 00:10:59,781 --> 00:11:00,980 and broke his arm. 238 00:11:01,941 --> 00:11:03,740 She wants to know why we haven't got one of them mats? 239 00:11:03,821 --> 00:11:04,661 We have! 240 00:11:06,261 --> 00:11:07,220 Keys! 241 00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:12,821 Liam had them when we got back from the hospital. 242 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,701 They're in our house somewhere. Kitchen table. 243 00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:17,421 Keep her talking, yeah? 244 00:11:19,141 --> 00:11:21,061 Keys! Keys! Where could they be? 245 00:11:24,381 --> 00:11:25,980 [Kev] Veronica's had a bit of a tidy-up. 246 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:27,701 -It's always the way, innit? -[indistinct yelling] 247 00:11:27,781 --> 00:11:29,821 I told shit-for-brains he were lucky you were around 248 00:11:29,901 --> 00:11:31,781 to get him out the shower and drive him to the hospital, didn't I? 249 00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:33,460 -[Joey] Mm. -Oh, he's worse than a bloody kid. 250 00:11:33,541 --> 00:11:35,261 Can't let him out me sight, can l? Can l, eh? 251 00:11:35,941 --> 00:11:38,141 And you're lucky he's not suing you for loss of business. 252 00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:39,740 Well, it's not his plastering arm, is it? 253 00:11:47,621 --> 00:11:50,581 [sighs] ls it me, or has it turned a bit? 254 00:11:56,181 --> 00:11:57,261 Psst! Psst! 255 00:11:59,381 --> 00:12:00,541 [keys jingling] 256 00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:08,100 So, Veronica says that you used to be really, really fat. 257 00:12:08,581 --> 00:12:10,621 [laughs] Ta-da! [sighs] 258 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,980 [Katrina] Kylie's had to get two buses to get to her self-defence, 259 00:12:17,501 --> 00:12:20,141 'cause you couldn't drive her. She had a do on the number 12. 260 00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:22,460 Forgot her inhaler. She could be dead, Joey! 261 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:23,740 Bet you didn't think of that. 262 00:12:24,381 --> 00:12:25,941 Oh, thanks, Kev. Saved my life. 263 00:12:26,021 --> 00:12:28,661 See. I told you. Over-reaction. 264 00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,980 [sighs] What? 265 00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:47,701 You're not my dad. 266 00:12:50,781 --> 00:12:52,021 Fuck have I done now? 267 00:12:52,301 --> 00:12:55,460 Type O blood I've got, so you can't be my real dad. 268 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,821 It's scientifically impossible. 269 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,501 Of course I'm your fucking dad. 270 00:13:02,941 --> 00:13:05,381 Frank Gallagher does not fire blanks, Ian. 271 00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:08,261 More's the pity. I can remember it clear as day. 272 00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:12,781 1987, 'cause they'd just stopped me claiming for me urticaria. 273 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:15,021 Doctor said it was a fucking shaving rash. 274 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,661 How do they sleep at night? 275 00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,821 Coming to terms with living with a disability, 276 00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:22,980 no support from the fuckin' state, then bang, ''I'm late again, Frank.'' 277 00:13:23,061 --> 00:13:24,941 Whatever you say about Monica, 278 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,620 she didn't look at another fella. 279 00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:31,541 You know, not until she went off with... Norma. No need. 280 00:13:32,941 --> 00:13:35,821 -It were 1989. -[Frank] That's what I mean. 281 00:13:37,061 --> 00:13:38,501 All right, 19... 282 00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:40,980 80... 283 00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:46,701 Gary Bennett. 284 00:13:48,141 --> 00:13:49,100 Fucker. 285 00:13:51,301 --> 00:13:52,141 [Ian sighs] 286 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:03,581 [thud] 287 00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:05,941 She had a Saturday job in an offie. 288 00:14:07,501 --> 00:14:10,620 They were too fucking tight to give her a discount, so no point... 289 00:14:11,701 --> 00:14:15,581 [sighs] ...but she made out it gave her a bit of independence. 290 00:14:16,261 --> 00:14:17,661 He was the manager. 291 00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:20,021 "Gary listens to me, Frank.'' Yeah, well... 292 00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:23,181 We can all listen to them when we want to give them one, can't we? 293 00:14:23,701 --> 00:14:24,581 So it's true? 294 00:14:24,661 --> 00:14:26,141 [Frank] Falls into place, don't it? 295 00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:28,021 [sighs] Betrayal. 296 00:14:29,141 --> 00:14:31,541 All the way down the fucking line. 297 00:14:34,301 --> 00:14:37,100 How sharper than a serpent's tooth... 298 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,340 No, listen, right. 299 00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:44,980 W-- Whatever that tosspot did to your mum, 300 00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:47,860 you are still my son. 301 00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:50,860 You're all my kids. 302 00:14:52,821 --> 00:14:54,421 Even a gobshite like Lip. 303 00:14:55,541 --> 00:14:56,541 [door creaks, closes] 304 00:15:00,181 --> 00:15:01,301 Yes! 305 00:15:09,061 --> 00:15:11,381 [indistinct chatter on TV] 306 00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:12,460 Here, remembered. 307 00:15:13,381 --> 00:15:14,901 And I need a sombrero and a guitar. 308 00:15:15,301 --> 00:15:16,141 For netball? 309 00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:18,061 [Debbie] We're making a short film in media studies. 310 00:15:18,141 --> 00:15:19,860 I'm a Mexican street musician. 311 00:15:20,301 --> 00:15:22,701 -Liam, shoes on, sweetheart. -[phone beeping] 312 00:15:22,781 --> 00:15:23,661 I need to get hold of Mum. 313 00:15:24,141 --> 00:15:25,541 [Ian] She's not there, I just tried. 314 00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:28,100 Answer machine says they're away till the 22nd. 315 00:15:28,181 --> 00:15:29,701 -Shit. -[Lip] What's up? 316 00:15:30,141 --> 00:15:32,301 Social services want to visit. 317 00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:35,220 See if Liam's being looked after properly... 318 00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,941 -by Mum or Dad. -[Ian] Shit! 319 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,941 [indistinct chatter on TV] 320 00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:42,141 What were you doing calling Mum, anyway? 321 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,781 Oh, he's trying to find his real dad. 322 00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,781 -What? -[Carl] Frank's not his dad. 323 00:15:47,061 --> 00:15:49,381 -Gary Bennett is. -[Fiona] Gary Bennett? 324 00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:52,781 How long have you lot known about this? 325 00:15:54,141 --> 00:15:56,740 [sighs] There. It's me best shot. 326 00:15:56,821 --> 00:15:57,661 [giggles] 327 00:15:58,380 --> 00:15:59,220 Ian. 328 00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:04,380 -You're full of surprises. -Look, I've just found out. 329 00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:07,620 Dad reckons it were the manager of this offie where Mum had a Saturday job. 330 00:16:08,581 --> 00:16:10,620 Offie in Eccles. Yeah. Think I remember. 331 00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:12,141 I were gonna tell you. Honest. 332 00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:14,980 -You want to find him? -Yeah. 333 00:16:15,301 --> 00:16:17,581 Why? We're your family. 334 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,541 -ls it about the other thing? -No. 335 00:16:23,661 --> 00:16:26,021 -[knocking on door] -[doorbell rings] 336 00:16:26,821 --> 00:16:27,661 [Katrina] Hiya. 337 00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:30,821 Just come off a visit up the road. 338 00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:32,141 Post-natal depression. 339 00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:34,181 Social services been in touch yet? 340 00:16:35,541 --> 00:16:38,220 Uh, we got a letter from them this morning. 341 00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:39,380 Well, I mean, Mum did. 342 00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:40,821 I bet she's shitting herself, isn't she? 343 00:16:41,661 --> 00:16:42,581 Just kidding. 344 00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:46,061 Tell her, as long as she turns up sober and remembers your brother's name, 345 00:16:46,141 --> 00:16:48,340 we'll tick all the boxes. [gasps] I tell you what, 346 00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:50,100 are you around at dinner time for a drink? 347 00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:52,581 Oh. Uh... 348 00:16:53,581 --> 00:16:55,141 I've got a lot on today, as it happens. 349 00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:56,941 I could give you a few tips about the interview, 350 00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,100 I mean, it helps to know who you're dealing with and that. 351 00:16:59,581 --> 00:17:00,740 Friends in high places. 352 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,620 I will be there, you know. 353 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,541 And we still haven't had a chance to catch up properly, have we? 354 00:17:06,301 --> 00:17:07,180 No. 355 00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:10,461 Yeah. Go on then. Why not? 356 00:17:10,701 --> 00:17:13,860 Great! Look forward to it. Jockey's your local, in't it? 357 00:17:14,541 --> 00:17:16,100 [Veronica] Can't you just tell her the truth? 358 00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:18,021 "Look, Katrina, I told a bit of a white lie 359 00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,501 about my mum and dad living at home, and now it's got out of hand." 360 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,021 [Fiona] Oh, yeah, she'll understand. 361 00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,380 I may as well get it all off me chest 362 00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:25,021 and tell her I shagged Joey while I'm at it! 363 00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,581 Oh, can't you put it off until Monica comes back from holiday? 364 00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:30,221 And say what? Dad's looking after the kids while she's away? 365 00:17:30,301 --> 00:17:31,781 The last thing we want is social services 366 00:17:31,861 --> 00:17:33,301 turning up to talk to fucking Frank. 367 00:17:33,381 --> 00:17:35,741 -Oh, yeah, right. -[Carol talking indistinctly] 368 00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:37,660 [Fiona] I mean, as far as the authorities are concerned, 369 00:17:37,741 --> 00:17:38,900 Dad's dead, isn't he? -[door closes] 370 00:17:38,981 --> 00:17:40,900 It's not like I'm even Liam's legal guardian. 371 00:17:41,341 --> 00:17:44,381 [Carol] What are you playing at? 372 00:17:44,461 --> 00:17:46,261 You've been on there nearly half-an-hour. 373 00:17:46,341 --> 00:17:48,221 One eighty a minute they're charging, Mum. 374 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,141 She's got a gift, Veronica. 375 00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:51,940 She's helping me with my arthritis. 376 00:17:52,021 --> 00:17:55,101 You haven't got fucking arthritis. 377 00:17:57,981 --> 00:18:00,221 I wish she'd keep an open mind. 378 00:18:00,541 --> 00:18:04,621 She even knew about Kev losing the remote for the telly. 379 00:18:04,701 --> 00:18:07,940 Bollocks she did. She's messing with your head, Mum. 380 00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:11,221 Fiona, will you get a grip? 381 00:18:11,821 --> 00:18:13,621 So, you're not officially Liam's guardian. 382 00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:16,660 You're over 21, you're a better fucking mum than Monica ever was. 383 00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:20,621 Go down the Jockey, see Katrina and sort it out, will ya? 384 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,061 You're right. 385 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:24,981 You're right. 386 00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:27,660 What's the worst that can happen? [chuckles] 387 00:18:27,741 --> 00:18:28,660 I love you, Fiona. 388 00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:31,461 Fuck's sake, Joey. 389 00:18:32,341 --> 00:18:33,261 I mean... 390 00:18:34,101 --> 00:18:36,021 I just mean... you don't. 391 00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:37,781 -You can't. -I do. 392 00:18:37,861 --> 00:18:40,900 You're engaged. You don't even know me. 393 00:18:41,581 --> 00:18:43,061 And we were both totally mashed. 394 00:18:43,141 --> 00:18:44,381 You were. 395 00:18:44,861 --> 00:18:46,621 I was on pineapple juice all night. 396 00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,101 Oh, shit, Joey. 397 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:51,341 -Please. Please. -I love you. 398 00:18:51,741 --> 00:18:54,741 Oh, listen to him. I love you, too, honey bunny. 399 00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:59,741 So... what do you think, eh? Mr and Mrs Dawson. 400 00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:02,261 Can't believe you're still single, Fiona. 401 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:03,660 -Can you, Joey? -No. 402 00:19:04,581 --> 00:19:07,981 [Katrina] So, what's this deep dark secret you wanted to tell me, eh? 403 00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:09,821 It's not about Ricky Parr, is it? 404 00:19:10,221 --> 00:19:12,261 Oh, no, no, nothing like that. [chuckles] 405 00:19:12,341 --> 00:19:13,180 It's... 406 00:19:14,341 --> 00:19:15,621 Well, it's silly, really. 407 00:19:16,261 --> 00:19:18,221 I mean, I didn't realise it was you at first 408 00:19:18,301 --> 00:19:20,341 when you came to the house to see our Liam. 409 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,501 And it's more automatic than anything. 410 00:19:22,581 --> 00:19:25,821 Hey. Secret admirer over there. 411 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,900 Hello. 412 00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:31,940 -You know him? -Well, to talk to. [chuckles] 413 00:19:33,141 --> 00:19:35,141 I were just saying, she could do with a fella. 414 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:38,061 Could you? 'Cause last time I saw you, 415 00:19:38,141 --> 00:19:39,461 you weren't going short, like. 416 00:19:40,141 --> 00:19:41,180 [Katrina] Dirty mare! 417 00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,221 We're trying to fix her up, if you're interested. 418 00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:49,141 Sorry, mate, I didn't realise. 419 00:19:49,781 --> 00:19:51,301 -I was just having a laugh. -[Katrina] What-- 420 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,061 No, he's with me, you daft pillock. 421 00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:58,021 Oh, I just thought, you know, 'cause youse two were getting... 422 00:19:58,621 --> 00:20:01,101 Oh... right. 423 00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:11,301 It weren't me. 424 00:20:13,101 --> 00:20:14,940 -Kev! -[indistinct yelling] Gallagher! 425 00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:16,221 Oh. 426 00:20:18,341 --> 00:20:20,141 [door creaks] 427 00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:28,781 Just listen, yeah? I swear it was a mistake. 428 00:20:29,301 --> 00:20:31,660 I was hammered. I don't even fancy him! 429 00:20:31,741 --> 00:20:33,061 [Katrina] Oh, no, 430 00:20:33,141 --> 00:20:34,900 'cause the sperm whale's boyfriend 431 00:20:34,981 --> 00:20:36,821 wouldn't be good enough for Fiona fucking Gallagher. 432 00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:40,981 Fiona fucking Gallagher can just take whatever she likes. Little... 433 00:20:42,301 --> 00:20:44,821 fucking Princess Skinny Arse! 434 00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:49,940 Katrina... 435 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:52,900 all that stuff... 436 00:20:53,621 --> 00:20:56,940 -we were kids, for God's sake. -Think that's an excuse? 437 00:20:57,621 --> 00:20:58,981 Think I've fucking forgotten? 438 00:20:59,581 --> 00:21:03,541 -Sperm Whale! -Okay. I'm sorry. 439 00:21:04,381 --> 00:21:07,461 But Chatsworth Comp, it was the law of the jungle down there. 440 00:21:07,781 --> 00:21:09,621 Think you were the only one who went through it? 441 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:14,420 Yeah, you were fat, and the lads used you as a spunk bucket. 442 00:21:15,101 --> 00:21:16,420 We weren't very nice to you. 443 00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:18,381 But you know what... 444 00:21:19,021 --> 00:21:20,141 neither were you. 445 00:21:21,341 --> 00:21:23,180 Pov Gallagher, remember that? 446 00:21:24,221 --> 00:21:26,861 "Oh, that same skirt you've been wearing since year seven, Pov?" 447 00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:29,021 "Can't afford to go on the school trip, Pov?" 448 00:21:29,741 --> 00:21:32,101 "Oh. Check your change, Pov's here." 449 00:21:33,061 --> 00:21:35,541 Plenty of times I cried meself to sleep... 450 00:21:36,781 --> 00:21:40,221 so don't you make out you were Princess fucking Di, Katrina. 451 00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:46,381 Right. A bit of advice. 452 00:21:47,341 --> 00:21:49,861 Stay away from my fiancé. 453 00:21:50,781 --> 00:21:51,940 And tell your family... 454 00:21:52,781 --> 00:21:55,101 they'd better put their best foot forward at that interview 455 00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:58,101 or I'll have your little shit arse of a brother taken into care so quick... 456 00:21:59,061 --> 00:22:00,261 he won't know what hit him. 457 00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:02,021 Okay? 458 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:03,781 Pov! 459 00:22:05,861 --> 00:22:07,101 [door opens] 460 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,180 And you can start saying your prayers and all, you little twat! 461 00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:12,420 [screams] 462 00:22:13,381 --> 00:22:17,101 [phone ringing] 463 00:22:20,341 --> 00:22:23,541 [keyboard clacking] 464 00:22:25,621 --> 00:22:26,660 Nipples. 465 00:22:26,741 --> 00:22:29,581 [clacking continues] 466 00:22:30,581 --> 00:22:33,180 Must help to have big ones, you know, when they're feeding. 467 00:22:41,301 --> 00:22:42,221 Must be... 468 00:22:43,541 --> 00:22:45,460 It must t-- toughen them up, 469 00:22:46,141 --> 00:22:47,460 all that... [imitates sucking] 470 00:22:48,021 --> 00:22:49,501 [receptionist] Excuse me, can I help you? 471 00:22:50,341 --> 00:22:51,940 [Frank] Yeah, I've come for the vouchers, love, 472 00:22:52,021 --> 00:22:54,261 -for formula. -[phone ringing] 473 00:22:54,341 --> 00:22:57,541 Uh, the name's Gallagher. Nigel and Delia. 474 00:22:57,621 --> 00:23:00,101 [keyboard clacking] 475 00:23:00,301 --> 00:23:01,981 Sorry, we've got Gallagher, Philip, 476 00:23:02,501 --> 00:23:04,741 and Gallagher, Ian, Gallagher, Deborah. 477 00:23:05,261 --> 00:23:08,541 Oh, they'll be under their mum's address, Eldon Way. 478 00:23:12,021 --> 00:23:14,981 Fuck off! I swap you that for that? 479 00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,381 -The difference comes out my wages. -But they're unopened. 480 00:23:19,221 --> 00:23:20,141 Good as new. 481 00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:22,621 I've got a fuckin' arrangement. Ask Yvonne! 482 00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:25,101 You'd better talk to her, then. She'll be in at teatime. 483 00:23:25,501 --> 00:23:27,381 Oh, blood will out. 484 00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:29,501 Gary Bennett. 485 00:23:30,460 --> 00:23:33,341 Eh? He wouldn't give your mam a fucking discount at the offie. 486 00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:35,781 Eh? Eh? Mingy little twat. 487 00:23:35,861 --> 00:23:37,581 Yeah, well, I'll mention that to him when I see him. 488 00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:40,341 It was Eccles. Fiona told me. 489 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,460 So there's nothing to stop me finding him, is there? 490 00:23:43,061 --> 00:23:44,501 Yeah, well, fuck off to Eccles, then! 491 00:23:44,581 --> 00:23:46,420 -You fuckin' deserve each other. -[bell dings] 492 00:23:47,541 --> 00:23:48,981 -[door closes] -You serious? 493 00:23:49,821 --> 00:23:51,261 -You gonna go? -Yeah. 494 00:23:53,341 --> 00:23:54,621 There's two in the phone book. 495 00:23:56,221 --> 00:23:57,261 Debbie looked it up. 496 00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:00,821 Go for it. All that counts in the end, family. 497 00:24:02,101 --> 00:24:02,940 Cheers. 498 00:24:03,301 --> 00:24:05,420 -You know what I meant. -[bell dings] 499 00:24:05,501 --> 00:24:06,741 People don't realise. 500 00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:09,581 Leave it to dry, and it's as good as new. Practically. 501 00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:11,261 I haven't bought a new roll for three years. 502 00:24:13,141 --> 00:24:14,460 I'm not a lesbian, Fiona. 503 00:24:15,341 --> 00:24:16,981 I mean, I think everyone's got tendencies, 504 00:24:18,021 --> 00:24:19,341 -but... You don't need to be, 505 00:24:19,420 --> 00:24:20,460 'cause you'll be pretending. 506 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,221 Like playing a part, acting. 507 00:24:25,861 --> 00:24:27,621 -Acting? -Yeah. 508 00:24:27,981 --> 00:24:30,821 You'll be you, but you'll say that you're our mum... 509 00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:34,621 'cause we think of you like our mum anyway, don't we? 510 00:24:37,981 --> 00:24:39,501 It sets you thinking though, don't it? 511 00:24:40,940 --> 00:24:41,900 Like, when... 512 00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:44,420 When you imagine if you hadn't been born... 513 00:24:45,581 --> 00:24:47,900 and someone else had met Frank. [sobs] 514 00:24:50,021 --> 00:24:52,180 Nigel and Delia hadn't been born either. [sobs] 515 00:24:52,261 --> 00:24:53,660 -Oh. -[Sheila] I'm sorry. 516 00:24:54,061 --> 00:24:56,341 I'm sorry. [sobs] 517 00:24:56,900 --> 00:24:59,180 [sobbing] Oh, God. I'm sorry. 518 00:24:59,261 --> 00:25:01,341 [sobbing] They've adjusted my Seroxin. 519 00:25:01,821 --> 00:25:05,101 It makes you ever so constipated as well. [sobs] 520 00:25:05,180 --> 00:25:07,900 [sobbing] 521 00:25:07,981 --> 00:25:11,741 [indistinct chatter] 522 00:25:13,581 --> 00:25:18,261 [Veronica talking indistinctly] 523 00:25:18,460 --> 00:25:20,541 Come on, you lot. We need all hands on deck. 524 00:25:21,301 --> 00:25:23,101 -[Carl groans] -[Veronica] Keep him still, Mum. 525 00:25:23,180 --> 00:25:25,660 -[Carl groans] -[Carol] Stop it. 526 00:25:25,741 --> 00:25:27,621 -[Carl groans] -What's wrong? 527 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:29,981 -[screams] -He dared me. 528 00:25:30,341 --> 00:25:32,660 We're lucky the house didn't go up, rubbish he eats. 529 00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:34,381 -Ball bag. -Lighting farts. 530 00:25:34,940 --> 00:25:36,301 Got too close to the lighter. 531 00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:39,101 -[screams] -Oh, don't be such a bloody baby! 532 00:25:39,180 --> 00:25:41,180 -It's only a bit of Vaseline. -Where's Lip? 533 00:25:41,261 --> 00:25:44,061 [footsteps approaching] 534 00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:46,180 [exhales] 535 00:25:46,940 --> 00:25:49,141 -Anyone got munchies? -Good night, was it? 536 00:25:50,660 --> 00:25:52,261 You knew Ian was working. 537 00:25:53,741 --> 00:25:55,180 Carol said she'd look in. 538 00:25:55,660 --> 00:25:57,861 She did come really, really quickly when we shouted. 539 00:26:02,021 --> 00:26:02,940 What's up with him? 540 00:26:03,861 --> 00:26:05,781 Come on, sweetheart. It's past your bedtime. 541 00:26:14,180 --> 00:26:16,180 -[door closes] -[spoon clanks] 542 00:26:17,141 --> 00:26:18,700 [slurred] Where the fuck is Sheila? 543 00:26:18,781 --> 00:26:20,460 [Fiona] You're not at Sheila's, Dad. 544 00:26:21,341 --> 00:26:24,861 -Dad, bathroom! -Don't fucking touch me. 545 00:26:24,940 --> 00:26:28,021 -[groans] -[mumbles] Eccles. 546 00:26:29,061 --> 00:26:30,660 You told him, didn't ya? 547 00:26:31,220 --> 00:26:32,621 You in on it an' all, Fiona? 548 00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:34,781 -Yeah, yeah, whatever. -Yeah, whatever. 549 00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:37,541 You're all the fucking same like your fucking mother. 550 00:26:37,621 --> 00:26:39,261 -Don't touch-- -[Fiona groans] 551 00:26:40,061 --> 00:26:42,541 -[groans] -Piss yourself, then! 552 00:26:42,821 --> 00:26:44,660 -[Lip] What's going on? -Fuckin' piss yourself! 553 00:26:44,741 --> 00:26:46,460 -[Lip] What's he done? -[panting] 554 00:26:46,541 --> 00:26:50,700 Fuckin' get him out of here, Lip, or I swear I'll fucking kill him! Wanker! 555 00:26:51,821 --> 00:26:53,940 [Frank] Smells of fucking changing rooms. 556 00:26:54,021 --> 00:26:54,981 [Fiona sighs] 557 00:26:56,220 --> 00:26:57,101 Bastard. 558 00:26:57,981 --> 00:26:59,301 [Fiona] Did he piss himself? 559 00:27:00,261 --> 00:27:03,021 [Lip] No. Got him to the bog in time. 560 00:27:03,261 --> 00:27:04,940 [Fiona] Frank Gallagher's proudest achievement. 561 00:27:05,021 --> 00:27:06,940 He got to the bog in time. 562 00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:09,261 Puked on the carpet, though. 563 00:27:10,821 --> 00:27:11,781 -[Lip chuckles] -[sighs] 564 00:27:13,741 --> 00:27:15,621 You really don't want Ian to find him, do you? 565 00:27:16,381 --> 00:27:18,460 Gary what's-his-face. 566 00:27:19,021 --> 00:27:19,940 Up to him. 567 00:27:21,301 --> 00:27:23,141 -Just don't see the point. -[sighs] 568 00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:28,141 [grunts softly] Bit jealous, actually. 569 00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:31,021 Little bastard gets a shot at a real dad... 570 00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,501 instead of some incontinent fucking sperm donor. 571 00:27:35,341 --> 00:27:36,501 Thing about Dad... 572 00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:38,861 you're fine, 573 00:27:38,940 --> 00:27:40,821 as long as you remember to expect fuck all. 574 00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:41,821 [chuckles] 575 00:27:42,220 --> 00:27:43,981 Only useful thing he's ever said to me, right-- 576 00:27:44,061 --> 00:27:45,821 I mean, to me, not at me, 577 00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:48,501 my whole fucking life, when I was little... 578 00:27:49,940 --> 00:27:51,180 I was making breakfast. 579 00:27:52,581 --> 00:27:54,741 Dad chucked his slice of toast into the bin, 580 00:27:54,821 --> 00:27:56,101 "Fuckin' useless, that." 581 00:27:57,541 --> 00:27:58,660 And then he showed me. 582 00:27:59,581 --> 00:28:02,301 "Always spread the marge into the corners, 583 00:28:02,381 --> 00:28:03,700 right up to the crust. 584 00:28:04,460 --> 00:28:07,460 Do the corners, and you don't have to worry about the middle." 585 00:28:08,180 --> 00:28:10,220 -[Lip chuckles] -True, as it happens. 586 00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:13,220 -Useless fucker. -[door unlocks] 587 00:28:19,180 --> 00:28:20,141 [door closes] 588 00:28:26,420 --> 00:28:28,420 Right. Social services are due at 11. 589 00:28:28,501 --> 00:28:30,220 Sheila's coming round at half ten. 590 00:28:30,660 --> 00:28:33,741 Start with the bedrooms, Carl. Debbie, you're on the bathroom. 591 00:28:33,821 --> 00:28:35,940 Carol, you still okay looking after Liam, yeah? 592 00:28:37,180 --> 00:28:38,940 What do you want me for, Fiona? [sniffs] 593 00:28:39,021 --> 00:28:40,261 [Fiona] Oh, yeah, Marty. 594 00:28:42,581 --> 00:28:44,141 Give me hand with a bit of lifting. 595 00:28:45,900 --> 00:28:50,261 -Cockhead. [grunting] -Marty! Slow down! 596 00:29:01,301 --> 00:29:02,460 Where's Sheila? 597 00:29:06,061 --> 00:29:08,220 -Hiya! -Oh, you brought the twins. 598 00:29:08,301 --> 00:29:10,700 [panting] I've been dying to give these outfits an airing. 599 00:29:10,781 --> 00:29:13,101 [panting] Sorry I'm late. 600 00:29:13,180 --> 00:29:14,980 -[baby cooing] -Only I thought it would help 601 00:29:15,061 --> 00:29:16,821 to look a bit more like you-know-who. 602 00:29:17,101 --> 00:29:18,940 Only it's a bit difficult with my wardrobe, 603 00:29:19,021 --> 00:29:20,420 so I had to borrow from across the road, 604 00:29:20,501 --> 00:29:23,660 but she's on the game, so she's a bit difficult to wake before dinner time. 605 00:29:24,141 --> 00:29:26,621 ls it too late to do something about these curtains, Fiona? 606 00:30:02,460 --> 00:30:03,781 Ian. [chuckles] 607 00:30:04,940 --> 00:30:06,341 She thinks you're planning a break-in. 608 00:30:08,420 --> 00:30:09,581 What are you doing here? 609 00:30:09,660 --> 00:30:11,101 Moral support, whatever that means. 610 00:30:11,741 --> 00:30:13,861 -Debbie passed on the details. -[door closes] 611 00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:17,541 -[Lip] Are you going in or what? -Might not even be there. 612 00:30:19,061 --> 00:30:20,301 Probably get his wife. 613 00:30:21,061 --> 00:30:22,460 Didn't think about his wife. 614 00:30:23,621 --> 00:30:24,781 What if she's got kids? 615 00:30:25,261 --> 00:30:26,980 Might have half-brothers or sisters. 616 00:30:27,061 --> 00:30:29,141 Find out. Go on. 617 00:30:32,261 --> 00:30:33,501 -Fuck it, if you're not gonna-- -Lip. 618 00:30:34,341 --> 00:30:37,660 [jazz music playing inside] 619 00:30:50,861 --> 00:30:53,220 Sorry, lads. We've got tea towels coming out of our ears. 620 00:30:53,301 --> 00:30:54,261 No. 621 00:30:56,061 --> 00:30:57,301 -I'm... -[music continues playing] 622 00:31:01,980 --> 00:31:03,021 [knocking on door] 623 00:31:09,781 --> 00:31:10,821 [woman] Mrs. Gallagher? 624 00:31:12,460 --> 00:31:13,741 Monica Gallagher? 625 00:31:14,541 --> 00:31:18,980 -I'm Maureen Hale from social services. -That's right. Come in. 626 00:31:19,541 --> 00:31:20,501 Thank you. 627 00:31:24,581 --> 00:31:25,541 Katrina. 628 00:31:28,501 --> 00:31:29,621 [Sheila chuckles nervously] 629 00:31:32,781 --> 00:31:35,301 Well, we've got your form, Mrs Gallagher, thanks for that. 630 00:31:36,261 --> 00:31:37,940 Liam's doing well, in your opinion? 631 00:31:38,501 --> 00:31:42,301 Oh, yes, yes, he is. Isn't he, Fiona? 632 00:31:42,381 --> 00:31:44,180 Oh, yeah, yeah. No problems at all. 633 00:31:44,261 --> 00:31:45,301 [Sheila] There we are. 634 00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:48,261 Take the pot to the kettle, never the kettle to the pot. 635 00:31:48,341 --> 00:31:51,261 [chuckles, exhales] Oh! No teaspoons. 636 00:31:51,341 --> 00:31:52,900 [baby coos] 637 00:31:54,460 --> 00:31:55,821 On my first visit, 638 00:31:55,900 --> 00:31:58,061 I saw some bruising where Liam had been hit 639 00:31:58,141 --> 00:31:59,261 by one of his brothers. 640 00:31:59,341 --> 00:32:01,301 Can you tell us how this happened, Mrs Gallagher? 641 00:32:01,980 --> 00:32:04,420 -[baby coos] -[thudding] 642 00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:07,261 Uh-- Lip-- It was Lip that moved. 643 00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:10,420 As I said to your colleague, it was an accident. 644 00:32:10,501 --> 00:32:12,180 -[thudding] -[baby cooing] 645 00:32:12,261 --> 00:32:15,660 [Sheila] Kettle. Kettle. Teaspoons. Teaspoons. 646 00:32:17,781 --> 00:32:19,700 [exhales] Hey, love. 647 00:32:20,460 --> 00:32:22,220 Would you get me a teaspoon, please? 648 00:32:29,980 --> 00:32:32,541 -Thank you. -[baby cooing] 649 00:32:40,101 --> 00:32:42,460 -[spoon clanks] -[baby cooing] 650 00:32:42,541 --> 00:32:43,700 Shall we have a look around? 651 00:32:45,341 --> 00:32:47,381 [Maureen] Well, I think we've seen everything we need, 652 00:32:47,460 --> 00:32:49,180 Mrs Gallagher. Thanks for that. 653 00:32:49,261 --> 00:32:50,660 [Sheila] Thank you. [chuckles] 654 00:32:50,740 --> 00:32:52,101 You're a very lucky boy, aren't you, Liam? 655 00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:53,541 -Having such a nice room. -[Liam] Yeah. 656 00:32:53,621 --> 00:32:56,420 [Katrina] I've just got a few questions about the living arrangements, Maureen. 657 00:32:56,501 --> 00:32:57,900 There seems to be a bit of confusion 658 00:32:57,980 --> 00:32:59,740 -about who lives where. -It's easy. 659 00:33:00,101 --> 00:33:02,501 I live next door with my tenants, Carol and Marty. 660 00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:04,220 -[Maureen] Handy for babysitting. -Is it? 661 00:33:04,301 --> 00:33:05,980 And everyone else lives here. 662 00:33:06,460 --> 00:33:07,700 [Sheila] The more the merrier. 663 00:33:07,781 --> 00:33:09,341 Take my hat off to you, Monica. 664 00:33:09,420 --> 00:33:12,341 These two looking bonny on it. 665 00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:14,501 Do you get your formula at the clinic? 666 00:33:14,581 --> 00:33:15,940 Oh, every week. [chuckles] 667 00:33:16,420 --> 00:33:18,381 [Katrina] 'Cause when I checked our computer records, 668 00:33:18,460 --> 00:33:21,220 the twins are down at a different address. 22 Eldon Way. 669 00:33:21,301 --> 00:33:23,861 And according to Lisa at the clinic, they live there with their mother, 670 00:33:23,940 --> 00:33:26,700 Sheila Jackson. The twins are yours? 671 00:33:28,101 --> 00:33:31,420 -Of course they are. -So you must be Sheila Jackson. 672 00:33:31,900 --> 00:33:36,141 No, no, no. I'm Monica. Monica Gallagher. 673 00:33:36,220 --> 00:33:38,261 [Katrina] Monica Gallagher is now living in Moston. 674 00:33:38,341 --> 00:33:39,781 She's in a relationship with another woman 675 00:33:39,861 --> 00:33:43,061 and she abandoned her kids four years ago, isn't that right? 676 00:33:43,541 --> 00:33:45,781 Well, she's no better than she should be. [inhales] 677 00:33:45,861 --> 00:33:47,700 I mean, I'm not. [chuckles] 678 00:33:49,061 --> 00:33:52,101 -I'm only human. -She's Sheila Jackson living at Eldon Way. 679 00:33:52,180 --> 00:33:53,021 I'm sorry. 680 00:33:53,101 --> 00:33:55,141 The twins are hers by Frank Gallagher 681 00:33:55,220 --> 00:33:56,781 who died shortly before they were born. 682 00:33:56,861 --> 00:33:58,460 It's all on the computer. 683 00:33:58,541 --> 00:34:02,341 Dad's dead, Mum's gone, these kids are home alone. 684 00:34:02,420 --> 00:34:04,420 I've applied for an emergency care order for Liam. 685 00:34:04,501 --> 00:34:05,861 You fucking cow! 686 00:34:05,940 --> 00:34:08,021 [Frank] Home alone? Who's home alone? 687 00:34:10,981 --> 00:34:12,101 Frank Gallagher. 688 00:34:13,421 --> 00:34:15,300 What can I do for you, ladies? 689 00:34:17,740 --> 00:34:18,740 [door closes] 690 00:34:19,981 --> 00:34:21,621 Am I tit-of-the-year or what? 691 00:34:21,941 --> 00:34:23,941 I knew it were too good to be true. 692 00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:25,541 You've still got one more left. 693 00:34:28,260 --> 00:34:31,141 The Cedars. Sounds even cushier. 694 00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:35,901 [scoffs] See his music? Wall-to-wall fucking jazz. 695 00:34:36,260 --> 00:34:37,461 [laughs] 696 00:34:37,541 --> 00:34:39,660 -You're well out of it. -[chuckles] 697 00:34:40,061 --> 00:34:42,340 [sirens blaring] 698 00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:51,581 [Lip] Christ. 699 00:34:52,381 --> 00:34:54,660 Dad finds out about this, he'll wanna fuck him himself. 700 00:34:55,300 --> 00:34:56,180 Him? 701 00:34:59,101 --> 00:35:00,300 [barman] If he owes you money, 702 00:35:00,381 --> 00:35:01,780 you better get to the back of the queue. 703 00:35:02,021 --> 00:35:04,181 Oi, Gary. More people after you. 704 00:35:06,501 --> 00:35:09,981 [indistinct chatter] 705 00:35:22,661 --> 00:35:23,501 Ian. 706 00:35:24,741 --> 00:35:27,461 "Daddy." [laughs] 707 00:35:27,701 --> 00:35:29,421 -Fuck off. -Daddy. 708 00:35:29,501 --> 00:35:32,261 Daddy. [chuckles] 709 00:35:32,340 --> 00:35:34,501 -Fuck off, mate! -[laughs] 710 00:35:34,581 --> 00:35:36,820 -[chuckles] -What? 711 00:35:36,901 --> 00:35:38,661 -What? -[chuckles] 712 00:35:38,741 --> 00:35:40,981 [both laugh] 713 00:35:41,061 --> 00:35:43,581 Difference between Gary and Frank, zilch! 714 00:35:43,661 --> 00:35:46,541 -[both laughing] -Gary Bennett. 715 00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,181 [indistinct chatter, laughing] 716 00:35:50,780 --> 00:35:52,421 Human error, see. 717 00:35:53,461 --> 00:35:54,941 Ghost in the machine. 718 00:35:56,181 --> 00:35:58,421 [chuckles] Literally. Boogie, boogie. 719 00:35:58,501 --> 00:36:00,901 Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. 720 00:36:03,381 --> 00:36:05,741 Computers, you see, Maureen. 721 00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:07,581 Only as good as the person putting the stuff in. 722 00:36:08,061 --> 00:36:11,061 No. Garbage in, garbage out. It's well known. 723 00:36:11,541 --> 00:36:15,461 Data in a computer literally means what's put in it. 724 00:36:16,221 --> 00:36:19,780 Data, right? Not information. 725 00:36:21,181 --> 00:36:23,061 So, you're not living at Eldon Way? 726 00:36:23,581 --> 00:36:24,421 Um... 727 00:36:28,621 --> 00:36:30,181 not to my knowledge, love. 728 00:36:30,421 --> 00:36:31,981 And she's Mrs Gallagher, is she? 729 00:36:34,941 --> 00:36:37,261 -I am proud to say, yeah. -[sighs] 730 00:36:37,340 --> 00:36:38,780 Last time I looked, anyway. 731 00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:41,981 Well, I really think that's everything-- 732 00:36:42,061 --> 00:36:45,541 If you're happy with the explanation of why Liam's so accident-prone. 733 00:36:45,621 --> 00:36:50,061 Oh. [chuckles] Look at him. Liam, come here, son. [grunts] 734 00:36:50,381 --> 00:36:51,820 [grunts] Look at that. 735 00:36:51,901 --> 00:36:54,061 What, he's got more injuries than Michael Owen, eh? 736 00:36:54,141 --> 00:36:57,461 -He broke his wrist last year. -Fell off his scooter, yeah. 737 00:36:57,541 --> 00:37:00,300 [Maureen] What are you, uh, getting at, Katrina? 738 00:37:00,541 --> 00:37:01,421 It's obvious. 739 00:37:01,981 --> 00:37:03,780 She's his care giver and she's not up to it. 740 00:37:04,541 --> 00:37:07,300 Hang on, hang on. Come here. What are you saying, love? 741 00:37:08,181 --> 00:37:09,380 She looks after him, doesn't she? 742 00:37:13,261 --> 00:37:15,181 Too fucking right she does. 743 00:37:15,860 --> 00:37:17,901 And makes a cracking job of it, and all. 744 00:37:17,981 --> 00:37:19,860 Because her mum fucked off. 745 00:37:20,101 --> 00:37:22,261 And that's a crime, now, is it, in modern Britain? 746 00:37:22,340 --> 00:37:25,021 Trying to give your brothers and sisters the right start in life. 747 00:37:25,101 --> 00:37:27,820 Because you can't fill a fuckin' form in? Paperwork, is that what you want? 748 00:37:28,380 --> 00:37:29,981 'Cause it's all here, you know. 749 00:37:30,061 --> 00:37:32,300 Black-and-white. All his jabs, right up to date. 750 00:37:32,581 --> 00:37:34,820 Hospital appointments for his, uh, whatsit. 751 00:37:34,901 --> 00:37:35,981 Fitting. 752 00:37:36,061 --> 00:37:37,860 [Frank] Yeah, all kept. Physio for his leg. 753 00:37:37,941 --> 00:37:39,461 -Wrist. -[Frank] All kept. 754 00:37:39,541 --> 00:37:40,941 She misses work for them! 755 00:37:41,501 --> 00:37:44,340 Never complains. You talk to his nursery. 756 00:37:44,421 --> 00:37:46,501 There are a few problems. Bites when he's cornered, 757 00:37:46,581 --> 00:37:47,860 -but he's three... -Four. 758 00:37:47,941 --> 00:37:51,101 ...years old. Bright as a button. 759 00:37:51,501 --> 00:37:53,701 He's got friends... hasn't he? 760 00:37:54,380 --> 00:37:57,661 His teachers will tell ya. And I'll tell you what. 761 00:37:58,941 --> 00:38:01,021 You can't write it down in a book, 762 00:38:01,621 --> 00:38:06,021 or sign a form for it, or get a fucking voucher, 763 00:38:06,421 --> 00:38:07,340 but... 764 00:38:08,461 --> 00:38:09,860 he's loved. 765 00:38:13,221 --> 00:38:14,981 Loved. 766 00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:18,661 By that lass over there. 767 00:38:21,780 --> 00:38:24,101 So put that in Tony Blair's pipe and fucking smoke it. 768 00:38:24,181 --> 00:38:26,340 I mean, fuck off! 769 00:38:26,941 --> 00:38:30,340 If that's a kiddie that's being abused, I'm Miriam fuckin' Stoppard. 770 00:38:30,421 --> 00:38:32,820 There's no question of abuse, Mr Gallagher. 771 00:38:33,061 --> 00:38:35,860 I can see that Liam's being well looked after. 772 00:38:35,941 --> 00:38:38,661 He's just admitted he lives with her and she's in charge! 773 00:38:38,741 --> 00:38:41,901 -And I don't see a problem. -I'll tell you the problem. 774 00:38:42,340 --> 00:38:45,261 I shagged her boyfriend. 775 00:38:45,981 --> 00:38:47,021 You shagged him? 776 00:38:47,421 --> 00:38:49,221 I thought you fucking snogged him! 777 00:38:49,300 --> 00:38:51,501 [sighs] It was a mistake! 778 00:38:51,581 --> 00:38:53,340 Oh, yeah? A mistake! 779 00:38:53,421 --> 00:38:56,941 You just think, "Here's the man that Katrina's gonna marry. 780 00:38:57,021 --> 00:39:00,141 I know, why don't I wreck her fucking life?" 781 00:39:00,461 --> 00:39:02,621 She made my life a misery at school. 782 00:39:02,701 --> 00:39:05,901 We were 14. Everyone's life was a fuckin' misery. 783 00:39:05,981 --> 00:39:08,661 You pissed on me PE kit! [inhales] 784 00:39:12,261 --> 00:39:13,581 [Frank] Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 785 00:39:15,741 --> 00:39:17,061 [Maureen] Sorry for the inconvenience, 786 00:39:17,141 --> 00:39:18,780 Mr and Mrs Gallagher. Personnel. 787 00:39:18,860 --> 00:39:20,421 The odd one slips through the net. 788 00:39:20,501 --> 00:39:23,380 -Human error again, Maureen. -Yeah. 789 00:39:23,461 --> 00:39:26,541 Hey, remember. Data, not information. 790 00:39:27,741 --> 00:39:28,981 -[Sheila] Bye. [chuckles] -Bye. 791 00:39:29,061 --> 00:39:30,021 [Sheila] Bye. 792 00:39:36,741 --> 00:39:38,380 [Katrina] Wedding's still on, you know! 793 00:39:38,461 --> 00:39:41,780 Twenty-third of August! I don't see a ring on your finger! 794 00:39:45,941 --> 00:39:48,101 Did you really piss on her PE kit? 795 00:39:48,181 --> 00:39:50,261 No, that was Alison Grant. 796 00:39:51,181 --> 00:39:52,581 I just held her bag open. 797 00:39:52,661 --> 00:39:54,461 [all laugh] 798 00:39:54,541 --> 00:39:56,581 [Sheila] And she said-- And she said... 799 00:39:57,581 --> 00:39:58,421 She said... 800 00:39:59,181 --> 00:40:00,820 Sorry. She said... [inhales] 801 00:40:00,901 --> 00:40:02,661 "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, 802 00:40:03,061 --> 00:40:04,501 Mr and Mrs Gallagher." 803 00:40:04,941 --> 00:40:06,820 -[all] Aw! -Didn't she, Frank? 804 00:40:07,421 --> 00:40:09,581 Too fucking right she did. [chuckles] 805 00:40:09,661 --> 00:40:11,901 You played a fuckin' blinder, Frank. 806 00:40:11,981 --> 00:40:13,901 -[Sheila sighs] -[Frank] It's natural, innit? 807 00:40:14,941 --> 00:40:17,661 A father's instinct to defend his offspring. 808 00:40:17,981 --> 00:40:19,380 Like lions. Come here. 809 00:40:19,461 --> 00:40:20,780 -[growls] -[Debbie] Actually... 810 00:40:21,541 --> 00:40:24,860 male lions kill theirs. I've seen it in a documentary. 811 00:40:25,581 --> 00:40:28,860 -New fucking man, me, Debbie. -[Sheila] Oh, Frank. 812 00:40:29,340 --> 00:40:32,141 I'm proud to call her Mrs Gallagher. [chuckles] 813 00:40:32,221 --> 00:40:34,941 He came straight out with it. He did. 814 00:40:35,021 --> 00:40:36,860 You like the sound of the that, do you, Sheil? 815 00:40:36,941 --> 00:40:39,901 Hey, hey. Stop fuckin' stirring it, you. 816 00:40:39,981 --> 00:40:41,101 [knocking on door] 817 00:40:44,340 --> 00:40:47,941 Sperm and egg, split second, accident of nature. 818 00:40:49,141 --> 00:40:51,780 The nurture, that's being a fucking parent. 819 00:40:52,981 --> 00:40:54,780 [sighs] Look, just forget about it, will you? 820 00:40:54,860 --> 00:40:55,741 You've got to tell her. 821 00:40:56,581 --> 00:40:58,901 -Tell Katrina we didn't shag. -She already knows we did. 822 00:40:58,981 --> 00:41:00,701 -But we didn't. -Joey-- 823 00:41:00,780 --> 00:41:02,741 [indistinct chatter] 824 00:41:02,820 --> 00:41:04,901 -Didn't we? -You were totally out of it, weren't ya? 825 00:41:05,941 --> 00:41:07,261 -It wouldn't have been-- -So, we didn't? 826 00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:08,621 -[chattering continues] -No. 827 00:41:08,701 --> 00:41:09,701 [chuckles] 828 00:41:12,221 --> 00:41:13,141 Fiona! 829 00:41:14,380 --> 00:41:15,621 You will tell her, won't you? 830 00:41:17,061 --> 00:41:19,701 Me dad's got 80 quid deposit down on a Gandalf costume. 831 00:41:20,101 --> 00:41:23,581 [Frank snoring] 832 00:41:28,461 --> 00:41:30,941 -[lighter flicks] -[snoring continues] 833 00:41:31,221 --> 00:41:34,780 -[sighs] -[distant sirens blaring] 834 00:41:35,181 --> 00:41:37,380 Lads, you're gonna have to give your dad a hand. 835 00:41:38,701 --> 00:41:39,780 He's worn out. 836 00:41:41,701 --> 00:41:43,101 [sighs] 837 00:41:43,541 --> 00:41:45,541 Come on. Hey. 838 00:41:47,421 --> 00:41:48,541 [huffs] 839 00:41:49,501 --> 00:41:50,941 Ian! 840 00:41:51,021 --> 00:41:52,701 Come on, I can't shift him on me own. 841 00:41:53,581 --> 00:41:54,741 [Ian] Not my dad, is he? 842 00:41:59,741 --> 00:42:01,340 Stop fucking around, will ya? 843 00:42:01,860 --> 00:42:03,741 You can't just fucking resign. Come on. 844 00:42:06,581 --> 00:42:07,421 [Fiona] Problem? 845 00:42:09,780 --> 00:42:11,581 -[sighs] -[Frank snores] 846 00:42:12,421 --> 00:42:16,221 No. [sighs] Just taking Dad back to Sheila's. 847 00:42:16,661 --> 00:42:18,261 [grunts] 848 00:42:22,941 --> 00:42:24,380 [Ian] Fiona reckoned it was a first. 849 00:42:24,461 --> 00:42:25,340 [snores] 850 00:42:25,820 --> 00:42:27,581 [Ian] Dad and Sheila actually helping us out for once 851 00:42:27,661 --> 00:42:29,221 instead of landing us in the shit. 852 00:42:29,621 --> 00:42:30,621 [snoring continues] 853 00:42:30,901 --> 00:42:33,101 [Ian] Not that she'd have wanted them round at ours all the time. 854 00:42:33,181 --> 00:42:35,101 None of us would. Not even Debbie. 855 00:42:36,300 --> 00:42:38,581 You just get used to things the way they are. 856 00:42:40,661 --> 00:42:43,661 And at the end of the day, it's better the devil you know. 857 00:42:44,261 --> 00:42:46,820 Early Kylie? Totally true. 858 00:42:50,340 --> 00:42:52,661 -I'm carrying his baby. -Fiona! 859 00:42:55,340 --> 00:42:57,300 -[Barry] Had an accident? -Boo! 860 00:42:57,380 --> 00:42:59,780 Oh, Jesus! Me tooth! Where's me tooth? 861 00:42:59,860 --> 00:43:03,621 Remember, Frank, no-win, no-fee, and we will win. 862 00:43:03,701 --> 00:43:06,820 If you wanna keep it, you don't have to bring it up alone if you don't want. 863 00:43:06,901 --> 00:43:07,941 Shitty! 864 00:43:08,021 --> 00:43:09,141 [Yvonne] Oi! 865 00:43:11,340 --> 00:43:12,661 [Ian] You bastard! 866 00:43:12,741 --> 00:43:14,621 Shop's had to close down because of him, 867 00:43:14,701 --> 00:43:16,101 and you don't give a fuck. 868 00:43:16,181 --> 00:43:17,661 I've booked the abortion. 869 00:43:18,621 --> 00:43:20,181 God! Blood. 870 00:43:20,261 --> 00:43:21,581 -What? -[Sheila] I've been shot! 871 00:43:21,661 --> 00:43:24,820 Oh, my God, Frank. What have you done? 872 00:44:09,941 --> 00:44:12,621 [moans] 873 00:44:16,261 --> 00:44:17,421 [feet tapping]